This is my first post and if I’m truthful, I’m terrified! I’m terrified that people will laugh or think I’m super cringe. I have this horrible image of people saying, “Have you read Michaela’s blog? It was so embarrassing!”. Now, I don’t for one moment honestly think that by me writing a few words on the internet I’m going to be the centre of everyone’s conversations, and if they do, I’ve evolved so much as a person over the past few years that I do not really care what others think anymore. But still, I have to admit I feel quite exposed.
You see the reason I am starting this is that recently I’ve felt like I’ve got a lot to say that I’m not saying, words go around and around in my head and I just need to get my views out there. I want to share the joys and pain of the life I have found myself in. I honestly think it could speak to other people who are in a similar situation/ their friends and families. And so, going into the year 2020 I’ve decided to put myself out there into the big bad internet. To have confidence in my words. To believe in myself that my words and opinions do matter and some people will be interested and will care. For me it’s important to realise that other people’s opinion of me doesn’t matter, in the words of Rachel Hollis (if you haven’t read her book ‘Girl wash your face’ you need to!) “Other people’s opinion of you is none of your business.” For those who are not interested in disability please don’t click on my blog, save yourself. But for those of you that are, if I can resonate with just one other person, I can make a difference. If one other mum of a disabled child can read my blog and realise they are not alone then it doesn’t matter how cringe this whole thing is.
Nearly three years ago, when I was first told my daughter was disabled I searched the internet to try and find other people in my situation. I found a lot of American mums with blogs and on Instagram and then started following a few British mums but no one completely related to my story. Mainly because Louisa was undiagnosed. I was like a lost child desperate to make some friends and find my new tribe. I felt completely detached from every other parent I knew. In fact, I felt pretty detached from every person I knew. It was such a lonely time. There are days when I still feel lonely on this journey. It is only my husband and my parents who really know the whole story. And I have relied on them so much to help me through some really difficult times. My husband and I are closer than we have ever been since we had our daughter. Every pain and joy I have felt he has felt too. And likewise with my mum and dad. And although we’ve dealt with grief, trauma and heartache fairly differently at times, it is only each other who knows what we have truly been through. Who knows the pure exhaustion of Louisa’s insomnia, who has listened to specialists tell us pretty painful information, who has sat next to her in intensive care and wondered if she’d survive, who has thought about the future and cried with fear, who has cleaned up the poo she on the carpet again…. and again. My husband is my absolute rock. I’d be lost without him. And my parents are just so so special to us.
So, there are quite a few reasons why I am only starting to blog now. Mainly it has been a confidence issue on my part and also a moral dilemma about exposing my daughter and her disability. Louisa cannot speak for herself, maybe she wouldn’t want our journey to be shared. I don’t want to say too much that might be embarrassing for her. And I will never say something that I think is not ok to share. Her wellbeing and safety is at the forefront of everything I do. But, unfortunately, I’ve recently realised that Louisa might possibly never have the cognitive understanding to be bothered about what I say, so as her mother it is my responsibility to ensure anything shared does not cross the line I have created for her and for me. But what I truly believe is, my beautiful and kind little girl, would want me to pass on my experiences to help others. I have to trust my gut that Louisa wouldn’t mind because I truly believe that if she could talk to me with words, she’d tell me to do all that I can to support other parents like me.
So by blogging publicly I feel like I am not hiding behind the shadows of disability. I am not embarrassed of our situation. In fact I am so super proud of what we have been through and how we have dealt with some pretty difficult blows. I am proud of my daughter, my son and my husband. Our little team is my greatest achievement in life. I want people to understand other people like Louisa, and by hiding her difficulties how can I ever expect people to understand?
So here goes. I hope you enjoy and find some of the things I have to say interesting. If you ever have any questions please fire them my way. I love talking about Louisa. She is so awesome!
#zerotohero #firstblogpost #blogger #mumblogger #disabilityrights
Rare and Relatable 
Hi Michaela, this is Denise Zimmer in California. Mike and Jan Evans are dear friends, and my baby doll Caroline has shared a little of your situation with me. I saw her post on FB and read your blog. I must say, you are so well spoken and I know your words will mean so much to all of us who are interested. This is exciting. I feel like you are going to be such a blessing to so many, you will never know. Praying for you to find the right words and the strength to share them. Butterfly kisses to your sweet Louisa. May God bless you always. Denise xo
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Awwww thank you so much Denise, your words truly mean a lot! I felt so nervous putting myself out there but hearing such positive feedback has really made me feel good! Thank you!!! And love to your wonderful family xxxxxx
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Brilliant!!! You are so epic. Love you. Looking forward to reading more, so pleased you’re doing this xxx
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Thank you my love! I’m sure the hummus story with feature at one point 😜😜😜
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Special kind of amazing!
Thank you for courageously taking the step forward to share your family’s story. I’m thankful to have the opportunity to have met you and see first hand what a great family you all are. I look forward to your next post and I know that your family will move mountains, especially Louisa.
Take care of each other. Lots of love and encouragement from this side of the pond! xx
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Thank you so so much Melissa! I feel super thankful to have met you and to have had your positivity and enthusiasm for life spurring us all on in Canada! Xxx
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Aww Michaela,
What an amazing thing to do and share. I often think of you all and Louisa and it’s so lovely to be able to read about your journey that you are all on, and I feel I was lucky enough to share a snippet of it with you whilst in Canada. Much love xx
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Love you 😘
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The strength you all show, the solid family unit and that 1000 watt smile. Louisa is a sparkling gem. Bloody well done for opening yourself up, it’ll no doubt help lots of people, both those with similar stories and those of us just wanting to learn. We love you and your mama bear spirit. Happy 2020… xxx
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Thank you Annette 🥰🥰🥰 means so much! 😘😘😘
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Loved reading this! You have a great way with words.
I completely agree that you should be super proud of the family you and DLD are creating, your children are a credit to you. Neither of them
Would be as happy and secure if you didn’t put in the effort and love that you do.
Enjoy this journey and I am so proud of you for everything you do. You are a wonderful mother, friend, daughter and educator- keep on educating!
Much love always and I’m looking forward to the next instalment!
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Love you so much! I think i you’re amazing and your gorgeous girls have the sweetest and kindest hearts! Can’t wait to be closer to you guys again!!! Xxx
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Thank you for sharing your story Michaela. I think it’s very brave of you to put yourself and your story out there and help to educate people on disabilities. You have a beautiful family and are a strong amazing person. With the help of those around you who love you Louisa will be very proud of you. I look forward to following your journey x
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Thank you so much! I felt so nervous when I pressed publish but am also starting to feel proud of myself for pressing that button 😜
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Dearest Michaela, I’m so proud of you. You are genuine, authentic and courageous. I think it’s a very good idea to put all that runs in your head into this blog. You are a sensitive person and a wonderful warrior mom. I will definitely follow you. You and David are in our hearts.
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Thank you! I love you very much xxx
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Loved your first blog and look forward to reading more of your incredible journey. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there. I think you’re brilliant Michaela.. xx
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I think you are amazing. I am always thinking of you and beautiful Addie and your continued strength xxxx
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You are an incredible mummy and have such a wonderful family. This isn’t just a story for other families experiencing disabilities, this is a story for all families. I am so proud to call you my friend. Write, write it all down. We have so much to learn.
What a journey you are all on. So much love and so many experiences to share. X
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Thank you so much beautiful friend! We love and miss you guys so much xxxxx
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Occasionally in life you meet people who leave a mark on your heart, inspiring and wonderful people who shine with something beautiful and difficult to put into words. Team LD are those kind of people. You bring out the best in each other and the people you impact every day…the real beauty is that I don’t think you even fully appreciate the mark you leave.
The gift that you have been entrusted with is one of the most remarkable and cutely gorgeous human beans and she is as lucky to have you as you are to have her. If ever anyone was learning to dance in the storm it is Team LD…and I’ve seen your moves, they’re rockin’!!
I genuinely believe this blog will bless others far beyond your wildest imaginings and I’m excited to see the impact it has xxxx
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Oh Rachel you make me cry! Thank you so much for your beautiful words and support. You were there for me at a really difficult time and I will always be so grateful for your advice and encouragement when I felt I had nothing left. I truly believe that you helped me pull myself out of a dark place and see the need for change and you will always have a special place in my heart! And hahahahaaaaa to the dance moves 🙈🙈🙈 xxx
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Beautiful. 💖
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Thank you 😊
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Well done Michaela! Beautiful first blog post, I’m looking forward to reading and learning. XO
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Thank you lovely! 😘😘😘
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Loved reading you Michaela. You have a beautiful super-strong family! I think its amazing that you share your story and I’m sure this blog will end up having a hugh effect on people with or without disabled children. You putting your heart out there is going to add goodness and kindness into the world. It has already started… Looking forward your next post. :*
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Thank you lovely! Sending so much love to your beautiful family! Xxx
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Michaela what an amazing courageous and loving soul you are, you and David are amazing parents Fred and Louisa, beautiful children, from the little I know you all so far it is a pleasure and privilege X
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Awww thank you for hour kind words! Xx
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